I got a Feeling....

For the last couple of weeks now I've been feeling compelled to write about the subject of my next blog post, and tonight it's actually kind of screaming at me to write it, so I'm going to take the hint to hunker down and tuck into my office to do so. 

All of us... every single one of us... have six senses.  Touch.  Smell.  Sight.  Hear.  Taste.  What is the sixth?  Intuitive.  A "clair" sense.  It manifests itself in different ways for all of us, and with practice can be developed - honed.  Don't scoff... don't turn back now... stay with me for this one.

Some people are born with their 6th sense wide open.  Others have theirs open after experiencing a major emotional event (traumatic or enlightening).  The majority of us are born with it muted, accessed only when we are in our most primitive states... fear or joy.  The terms: "trust your gut", "go with your heart", "déjà vu'" ... these are all describing this sense. 

There are different "clair" senses.  The most known or heard about one is clairvoyance.  Clairvoyance is what is most often associated with psychics.  It is the ability to see things "in the mind's eye" that others cannot.  Or, the ability to see things that have no personal meaning to the clairvoyant, but to the other person, very personal meaning.  But that is not the only clair sense - there is also clairaudience (hearing), clairgustance (taste), clairalience (smell), claircognizance (higher knowing), and - near and dear to me - clairsentience.  This is what my blog entry tonight will be about.

Since I was a child I have always "felt" things.  I would be able to walk into a place and "feel" it.  I used to call it "feeling the history".  It's hard to explain, but there are a couple of events that come to mind right now.  The first is when one of my sisters moved in to her house.  It is an older house, maybe from the 1920's.  I remember walking in and feeling pressure.  When I went upstairs, the pressure got stronger.  I could "feel" the energy of all the people who inhabited the house before.  It was like I was in a dream, and things were moving in slow motion.  The air felt thick.  Shallow.  Another notable time was when another sister moved in to a house she was renting.  This one was built in the 1950s by a matriarch of the family, and when she passed the surviving children decided to rent it out (enter, my sis).  The second I walked in to that house I felt an overwhelming sense of Love.  Peace.  Calm.  It has a happy house full of happy memories.

By the time my one sister moved into the 1950s house, I knew what was going on with me.  But before that, I had no idea.

I started to know something was different when I began dating the man who is now my husband.  We've been deeply connected since the day we met (soul mates is a very real thing... I'll blog on that concept another time).  But I never knew just how connected until he began having anxiety attacks.  I remember the first time he had one.  We had just sat down and ordered food at restaurant.  He made no outward motion that anything was amiss.  But I started feeling pressure in my heart, and sick to my stomach.  It felt like my heart was beating super fast, but it wasn't.  I didn't know what was happening to me.  Then D told me that he was sorry, but he was feeling sick and had to get out of the restaurant.  He left to go wait in the car, and as soon as he left the feeling I had left me.  I noticed after that night that every time I started to have these feelings it corresponded to him having an anxiety attack.  I began to know when it was happening to him because of how I was feeling.  Thankfully he no longer has them, because WOW... that is an INTENSE thing to deal with.

The other way that clairsentience has manifested in me is my huge empathetic nature.  I feel things so deeply, so strongly...  I cry at things that have no bearing to me at all.  I will see two people smiling and laughing and my heart feels like it has expanded twofold.  I see people crying and I immediately take on their pain.  Hospitals are very hard for me to be in.  Sometimes when I pass car accidents I will feel my heart tighten and my throat choke up and all the sudden I am crying and gasping for breath.  I remember one time I was on my way home from work and happened to pass a car, and I felt just total, deep, black hatred coming from the person.  It was a cloying, gross feeling.  Sometimes I will meet someone and have an instantaneous either love or total dislike for them. 

Basically, my ability manifests itself in the way that I will take on whatever emotions another person is emanating.  It also translates to places.  Humans are very powerful - more so than the average person would think - and our emotions are part of this power.  The stronger they are, the more they are left in a place, which is what I feel when I say I am feeling the "history" of somewhere.  I am still learning how to block this, so some days it is very, very draining.

Another way this manifests in me is my deep and profound connection to Nature and animals.  I can feel the energy difference between a city and a forest.  An ocean and a park.  A home and a business.  When I am around animals I can feel their energy.  For example, my dog is high strung.  No matter how calm or chill I am, that dog just can't settle down.  Right now he is sleeping on the floor next to me, and finally the little feeling of craziness is dimmed.  My one cat, Asia, is a powerful personality.  She is strong and confident, most of the time.  But every now and then she questions herself, and her place, and I can feel that energy shift in her.  And then there is my little Zoe.  A constant mix of confidence and fright.  She's a hard one to calm.  But thankfully her energy is not as strong as the others, so I do not pick up on it quite as much.

So how have things changed, from when I first started truly acknowledging these things, to present day?

The first change was when I truly acknowledged that it was happening.  Once I became aware, it was easier to deal with because I knew what it was.  Meditation has also helped.  Meditation helps to bring your awareness to your sense of Self, and in essence helps you release and balance your internal energies.  Since I am very connected to the calm, old power of Nature, I take many trips to the forest - daily if need be - to ground myself and release all of the energy that I have taken on that is not my own.  I exercise - that is also a great way to release pent up energy and balance yourself.  Yoga is another way - though I do not practice this as much as I did in the past.

All of this is still fairly new to me.  Not the ability, but the way to manage it.  Think of a faucet... if you have it on full blast all the time, you're going to high a high water bill.  But if you manage it, then it becomes... manageable.  But it's not only that I want to manage it, I want to master it, and that takes practice to develop, which is what I am currently focusing on.

I stated previously that there are several types of clair senses, and that each of us possess them, but that in most of us they are muted.  I have had experiences with other senses, but clairsentience is the strongest and the one I have experienced the most.  Think now of your own experiences.  Chances are you have experienced one of them.  As I learn more, clairsentience is actually one of the most common, but people do not acknowledge it.  That is truly the first step - acknowledging.  Once you do that, and allow yourself to know that it is happening, and that it isn't "weird" or "unnatural", you will begin to open the sense for yourself.  And once you open the door, well.... Life begins to get interesting.

Stormily Yours, with Love,
Bec*

Loving Shout Out: http://www.psychicsuniverse.com/articles/psychic-insight/developing-your-own-psychic-gifts#

The Power of an Eclipse (and other happenings)

I started writing this post a while ago but got distracted and never returned to it.  It's been a while since my last post too, and to be honest I just haven't been inspired to write.  It's the same thing with having taken off so many years writing stories... I see a blank page and I get so intimidated.  It used to be that I could sit down and channel the words through my fingers and on to the screen.  But for some reason that ability seems to have gone dormant.

As I mentioned in my welcoming post, part of the purpose for starting this blog was to share some of my spiritual journey with the anonymous reader, with the intention that another soul who may be on the same journey can find some solace.  I am feeling compelled to write, and the subject of this post will be some of the things that have happened to me in the last few months.

*****

Back in May part of the world was subject to one of the most awe-inspiring event we can witness.... a Solar Eclipse.  Solar Eclipses are so rare, that when we are blessed by the arrival of one, it is hard to not feel the power, the amazement, the chill - the ancient sentiment that came when our Sun's glorious might was covered by the shadow of the Moon.  That Sunday's eclipse was partial, and so the Moon's position was not quite close enough to completely block the Sun, an event that causes twilight in the middle of daylight, and I can only image how our ancient ancestors must have reacted when that happened....  But an annular eclipse is no less spectacular, creating a "ring of fire" around the Moon as it positions itself directly between the Sun and the Earth. 

Solar Eclipses are quite powerful, and in spiritual circles it is believed that their energy can be harnessed to help with one's personal goals.  I have always been prone to feeling energy shifts - when I was younger I always called it "feeling the history of a place" - and with this year marking a resurgence in my spiritual journey, I decided to take advantage of this momentous occasion, and made a list of Solar Eclipse Intentions that I focused on during the time when the energy was highest. 

One of the items on my list was to establish a routine in the morning.  I have never been a morning person, even though I love the energy of mornings.  I love my dreams, and in the mornings where I am snoozing between alarm clocks beeps, my dreams are always intensified and I'm able to remember them better.  It's hard to get out of bed when I can close my eyes and fly.

The morning after that eclipse the alarm clock on my phone started to go off.  I lazily reached over to turn it off, when I discovered it was not on the nightstand that I always put it.  In the foggy grog of sleepiness, I started feeling around on the floor, thinking it might have got knocked off.  I could not find the phone, and the shrill buzzing had started to get the best of me.  I sat up, turned on my light, and found the phone.  Five feet away.  On the ground.  Still attached to the charger.  Yet the charger was no longer attached to the outlet.  Some how, during the night, the charger on my phone became detached from the wall outlet, and my phone, while still connected to the cord, ended up five feet away from my nightstand.  Just far enough away to where I had to get out of bed to turn the alarm off.  I do not know how this happened, but that morning, I stared at the phone, my jaw dropped, and knew in my heart this was a sign.  I got out of bed, did a yoga routine, and had enough time to take my dog for a walk.

*****

For as long as I can remember I have been going to forest preserves to walk, hike, read, and sometimes just to sit.  I love nature; the smells, the sounds, the color, the energy.... If I could spend my whole day outside I would be happier for it.  It is especially therapeutic for me to get out into nature and re-energize when I spend 9 hours a day in an office for work, and so anytime I start a new job I always look for a place where I can go, and luckily I've always been able to find a place. 

Where I am at now I found a state park that was almost abandoned a few years ago due to lack of funding.  It remained open, but most of the areas are closed off and unmaintained.  This is perfect for me - the park is an absolute jewel in my eyes.  Not only can I go to a forest that is more wild for being untamed, but since so few ever go, I can usually go with the benefit of being alone. 

For the last few months I have been visiting one area in particular, which is close to the river and surrounded by towering oak, walnut and maple trees.  I go here to sit by rivers edge and breath in deep with my eyes closed.  If I am lucky there will be a soft breeze, so not only do I feel it across my face, but hear the wind through the trees, one of my favorite sounds. 

When I visited the spot yesterday, I realized that all my time coming to the river's edge, I'd never once seen a fish.  I love to spot fish in the water, and so this particular time I said "if Spirit is with my I'll see a fish."  Not even two minutes after saying that, a huge carp swam right up to the river's edge, right in front of me.  He swam around, looking for food on the rocks, the disappeared back in to the river depths.  And behind him?  Another carp, smaller this time.  I smiled, feeling the energy with me, knowing that I was connected to it all.  I breathed in a few more times, enjoying the moment.  When I opened my eyes again, I looked to the river, and again I saw fish.  This time there were four different little schools of tiny minnows, swimming close to the surface, feeding off bugs who were unfortunate enough to land near them.  It was incredible - after all this time of never seeing any fish, here I ask to see them as a sign that I was not alone, and there they were.

*****

When people start to open their mind and soul to the Universe around them (to God/religion/spirituality), very often phenomenons begin to happen which will have some people labeling "paranormal", and others to just ignore and pretend it didn't happen.  I have also been an open person, and throughout the years I seem to go through periods where things happen to me more often than not.  One of these happenings is hearing voices that are in my head - but outside of mind, if you can grasp that.  There was one period in time where this was happening so often I began to wonder if I had brought a spirit home with me on one of my paranormal investigations.  It has been a while since this has happened, but it just did Tuesday morning.  I was laying in bed, and had turned off my alarm, but kept my eyes closed, thinking I'd get up in a couple seconds.  I fell asleep.  I needed to get up early that morning because I had to be at work early.  The next thing I know, I heard a male voice seemingly yell right in to my ear "BECKY!!"  It was so loud that it scared me and set my heart racing.  I sat up straight and looked around, wondering if it was my husband.  But he was long gone, having already left for work.  I realized then that I'd fallen asleep with my alarm clock off, and dreaded looking at the time.  Only two minutes had gone by.

Through intuition, meditation, and spiritual readings I have discovered that one of my spirit guides (I have two) is male.  He is my main guide, the one whose presence I often feel.  I believe it was he who screamed in my ear to wake me up. 

On a side note, my other guide is female.  She is younger, childlike, and I believe it is her whose voice I always catch on my EVP records (I always have a young girl's voice on all my investigations - but that's another post, for another time).

*****

And finally for tonight's post, something that recently happened, that I didn't even really realize until I started writing this and had looked back at my Solar Eclipse Intentions List.  I had not looked at this list since I wrote it back in May.  The first thing on the it is Health.  I am a drinking smoker, and it's something I've always wanted to give up.  I've also always talked about exercising more, but aside from walking my dog every day, my workouts are very sporadic.  Earlier last month I had a scare with some weird head and vision issues.  I went to the doctor to find that my optic nerves are swollen.  I am still in the process of ruling things out and getting formal diagnosis, but right now my doctors believed that I have IIH (idiopathic intracranial hypertension).  While it is a relatively rare affliction and little is known about it, studies have shown that if weight is lost in those that are overweight, the pressure will abate and symptoms regress.  That was all I needed to hear.  Since then I have quit smoking, stopped drinking (only because drinking was starting to make me get instant headaches - plus when you're a drinking smoker, eliminating the catalyst is a good way to quit), and I've been working out every day.  Even though I am scared of what is going on, I am happy that Health has been brought to the forefront of my mind, and I'm using that energy to assist with my goals.

And this morning when I was laying in bed, trying to will myself to get out of bed, I looked at the clock and saw that it was 5:55am.  5-5-5 is an angelic number said to signify changes in your life.  I believe it was right on cue.

*****

For those that stuck with me to the end here, thank you for reading!  I hope that my sharing some of these experiences has helped you in some way.

Stormily Yours, With Love ~
B*

Wacky Hangers and a Shadow Man... the start of a Paranormal Investigator

I have always been fascinated by the paranormal.  The first books I can remember reading were always horror themed.  I grew up the youngest of four girls, and with that came a sister who would allow me to watch scary movies with her, with the stipulation that I must cover my eyes at the truly scary parts (nevermind that I could still hear what was going on...) and if I did not cover my eyes to her liking, she would add her hands to the coverage.

At some point in time I became convinced that the house we grew up in was haunted.  My parents built that house in 1979 or 1980 - just shortly before I graced the world with my presence.  It was a lake house built in the then vacation community of Lake Holiday, Somonauk, Illinois.  The land had at one time been inhabited by the Fox tribe of Native Americans.  We all know the fate of Native American's in our country, and over the years the land was taken over by farmers, and then by industrious investors who decided to carve out a lake between two creeks.  Back when I lived there Lake Holiday still had numerous plots of vacant land.  Trees were everywhere.  My nature loving parents refused to cut down the forest that surrounded our home, and we were fortunate enough to have a large house built on top of a steep embankment that sloped down to the lake.  The result was a gorgeous house set back from the road, encased by a thick crop off trees with a long... LONG wooden staircase hugging the slope down to the lake.

There is no gruesome history to my home.  It was built by my father on land that had stood vacant after being farmland for years.  One day my sister had come up to the house with a strange, very distinctly shaped rock she'd found down by the lake.  Upon examination by my family, they declared it an Indian arrowhead.  It was a prized position in my mind.  A few years later I had found that arrowhead again, tucked away among the treasures displayed in my Mother's China cabinet.  I set out to find an arrowhead of my own.  Having been in the midst of an obsession with archaeology, I decided to take my Mom's garden trowel and start digging around the house for arrowheads.  Much to my family's amazement, after several digs I actually did come across something.  It wasn't an arrowhead, but it was an oddly shaped rock, and when you put it in your hand it fit the palm perfectly, with an indentation for a thumb and a sharp, pointed tip.  I believe, along with my parents and even later a junior high school science teacher, that I'd found a tool that had been used to carve hide from animals.

Now, I am not going to say that the happenings in my house were from Native American spirits.  But anyone who has studied these wonderfully amazing peoples know that they were deeply connected to our Earth's spiritual realm, and I don't think that connection should be taken lightly.

When I was very young I had an "imaginary" friend.  Her name was Candy.  I never "saw" Candy, but I always "felt" her around.  I know that she was older, and I always had the impression that she had dark, curly hair.  Candy always felt very real to me, and despite the times that I would flush her down the toilet because she upset me, I along with my family and friends "acknowledged" her.  Maybe they, too, felt her presence, on a less intense level.

The real fun started around the time I was 8 years old.  By this time my oldest sister had moved out, and with her nest flying went my closest in age sister to her occupy her old room.  I was left with the biggest bedroom to myself.  We had two twin beds in there, and I would switch between the two to sleep in.  One day I was sitting on the one that was closest to the closet.  I was either reading or coloring, one of the two, when I heard a noise coming from the closet.  I was not a nervous child, and did not scare easily.  That was about to change.  When I opened the closet doors to investigate, I was met with the hangers - complete with clothes on them - whipping wildly back and forth.  It wasn't until I realized that they weren't stopping that I got scared.  I grabbed my pillow and blanket and since my parent's bedroom door was closed, I went to the next room available - the hallway bathroom that we girls all shared.  I was found in there the next morning by my sister, who went for my Mom.  No one believed my hanger story, of course, and my Mom attributed it to a nightmare.  And by the way - to this day I STILL find the most comforting room a bathroom.  Ask my husband... he will occasionally wake up to find me missing from the bed and asleep on the bathroom floor.

It took a bit for me to sleep comfortably in that room again, and I don't believe I slept in the bed next to the closet again for years.  Things were quiet in the house after that, until one night the footsteps started.  I heard them coming up and down the stairs, but they weren't the heavy footfalls of adults, and it wasn't the soft, inconsistent creaking of a settling house.  It was.. well, footsteps.  I had a friend over once when we heard them, and she - being more fearless than I at that point - whipped open the door to the bedroom to stare down the stairs.... nothing was there.  She closed the door, we turned on the lights and spent the hours playing Legos until finally passing out from exhaustion.

About this time my sister started having nightmares.  One night she woke up from a nightmare to claim that she'd seen a shadow pass through the walls towards her bed.  She has always been an artist - in fact, two of my sisters were gifted with the ability to draw, and my oldest and myself the love of written word - and she had drawn the image of what she'd seen.  It was a dark, featherlike mass with a face in the middle.  It was years later that I came across the image of a Celtic "tree man," and that is what it resembled.  After drawing it and us talking, she didn't ever see it again, and I believe that her nightmares ceased.

Aside from the crazy hangers and the footsteps, and my sister's shadow, not much happened after that, except for the occasional feeling of a presence around.  My parent's eventually divorced and we moved from my beloved lakefront home.  I moved in with my Mom and sister to a townhouse in Elburn. 

By this time I was a full fledged teenager, and my love of paranormal intensified.  I had purchased a "Psychic Circle" board from Spencer's Gifts one day, on a whim.  I bought it because I'd always wanted a spirit board, but did not like the negative connotations that a Ouija board brought.  My Psychic Circle board was wholly positive, complete with a guide book that insisted on protecting yourself and fellow users with the loving and protective energy of White light.  My sisters, my friends and I would bring out the board often to play, trying to use it as a medium to connect with beings that were not on our plane.  One day I connected with a male spirit who named himself David (let's just forget the fact that years later I met the man who became my husband, also named David).  This spirit would frequent our sessions often over the years.

After bringing the Psychic Circle into the home, things started happening.  I remember one day sitting on my beanbag chair in my room, reading, when I felt a distinct presence... something was staring at me.  I looked up and my closet door was cracked.  Thinking the feeling was coming from that, I got up and closed the door.  When I sat back down I could not shake the feeling, so I left the room and went downstairs to watch TV.

I was blessed to have a Mother who absolutely loved animals, and as such we've always had dogs and cats.  One such kitty that my oldest sister brought home, Peaches, completely bonded to me.  That cat was my heart, for years.  Anywhere I was, she was.  In the townhouse I started to notice that she would suddenly stare off at places, for reasons I could not specify.  My friends noted it too.  Even my husband, back when we were first dating, has a story of being at my house one night, when it was just the two of us home.  He was downstairs watching TV, Peaches on his lap, waiting for me to get out of the shower.  Peaches did one of her sudden head jerks and stared up the stairway at the landing.  Dave says he's never had such an unnerving feeling, like he was being watched.


Truly, the townhouse was where I had one of the most intense experiences in my life.  I had been sleeping in my room, when something woke me up.  I had left my computer on, and the soft glow of the monitor in the corner had thrown me off - I didn't know where I was.  I thought that I was in Dave's house, sleeping in his living room.  I closed my eyes and tried to fall back asleep, and as the fog began to clear I realized that I was in my own room, in my own bed.  The thought comforted me, and just as I was settling down again, I felt something.  Someone was watching me.  I opened my eyes to face a shadow man, standing at the side of my bed, staring down at me.  I have never been more shocked in my entire life.  I literally gasped out loud, and did the only thing I could think of - I was 20 years old at the time, but I grabbed my blanket and threw it over my head, squeezing my eyes tightly shut, thinking that if I can't see him, he can't see me.  I did this for a few seconds before I realized what I was doing.  I remembered that I was an adult, and that I was probably just imagining things, having been so disoriented from waking up moments before.  So, I pulled the covers back from my head.  The shadow man was still there.  I looked at him, and he looked at me, and I felt almost chagrin from him - almost like he was embarrassed to have startled me, and he began to fade away, back toward the mirror that had been on the wall, directly opposite from my bed.

After that I waited a bit, then ran downstairs to the kitchen where my cell phone had been charging.  I picked it up, thinking to call Dave, knowing that it was very late and that I'd likely wake his Dad up.  When I picked up the phone, I saw that there was a missed call and a voicemail.  It was Dave.  He'd called me  before going to bed, and left a voicemail telling me Good Night.  It was all I needed to hear, at the time.  I listened to his recorded voice, and willfully went back upstairs to sleep.  I never saw the shadow man again.

I took my Psychic Circle with me when I moved out of the townhouse and in with my Dad to attend college, but I only used it maybe a couple of times.  Dave actually hates the thing, and when we bought our own townhouse, he refused to even let me bring it in to the house.  It is somewhere in our garage now.  In the eight years that I moved out of my Dad's, the Psychic Circle was used once, at a friend's house, for a Halloween party.  We had a weird "coincidence" with some barking dogs, but that was it.

I have not had any paranormal happens like that since I moved out on my own.  Now my paranormal happenings occur on paranormal investigations.  In the mid-2000's my Dad decided to invest in his hobby, and started purchasing "ghost hunting" equipment.  Over the years he has collected quite the arsenal.  We have been on several investigations since then, and while I haven't ever experienced personally the "shadow man" since then, I certainly have had my share of incidents. And so, these are the happenings that helped shape the paranormal lover that I am today, and my theories on what I have experienced have evolved over the years, based on different experiences.

But that is another blog, for another day....

♥

My Peaches - love you forever, baby girl - see you again someday!

Recommended Veggie Dish: Mexican Lasagna

"Mexican" and "Lasagna".  When I first saw those two words forming a vegetarian recipe I thought I was seeing things.  Who ever would have thought that someone combined my two favorite things into a meatless entree?

I was skeptical at first.  I just didn't think that Mexican and Italian flavors could ever happily marry.  But, a couple weeks ago I was struggling to find a dinner to make and happened upon this one on my Pinterest board.  I casually brought it up one night to my husband, thinking he would side with me and immediately brush it off as crazy.  When he piped back that it not only sounded good but that the combination was intriguing, put my bandanna on and declared the challenge accepted.

I mean, really... when faced with this picture, how could you not?

Picture and Recipe from Annie's Eats blog - http://annies-eats.com

This was most definitely a successful dinner.  Tonight was actually the second time in a couple weeks that I've made it.  It's so easy to put together - for this nights rendezvous I seeded and diced up a jalapeno pepper and it took about 20min total to chop, dice, mix and layer.  I was singing while I put everything together and in between my mash up of Enya songs I accidentally put in too much cumin.  I stopped dead, suddenly remembering something I'd heard before about how too much cumin could kill a dish... but then I concluded that since I'd added the jalapeno it would counter the cumin.  I have no idea if that logic even makes sense, but the end result was most definitely not killed.

I put it in the oven for 40min, then another 5min with the foil removed, but you could probably get my with less time.  I didn't use a lot of cheese this time in it either and it was still very good.  Dave also had the idea to use some green salsa as a condiment with it and that added a flavorful touch.

So go on - try it, I dare you!  You'll be happily surprised!!  My other favorite aspect of this dish is its one that is even more delicious the next day, after the flavors have had a chance to meld together.

Now I just need to get the courage to try my recipe for Vegan Enchilada Casserole...  It's basically the same concept, yet the farfalle pasta instead of lasagna noodles is really throwing me for a loop...

♥

Let It Go

Let it go.

Three words.  Such a simple phrase.  To the point, easy to understand the direct implication.  Let it go.....

Yet in action, it can be rather difficult to do.  Why?  Why is it hard to let go of the things that no longer serve us, that torment us, that weigh us down in sadness?  Why do we hold on to these things so fiercely, like badges of toxic praise?

I consider myself a generally happy person.  Throughout the years I have learned to dismiss certain feelings, to accept certain truths, and to learn from mistakes.  I am much more at peace now than I was two, three, five years ago.  But yet, I still have moments of sadness.  I still have days where all I want to do is stay curled up in bed with the blankets around me, not acknowledging anything except my dreams that take me away to far off places.  My life is not perfect, by any means.  But I am here.  I am alive.  I have a home to shelter me, a husband who loves me, family and friends I adore, and animals that are my soul's companions.  I am healthy and whole.  And yet still, these moments come, and I feel powerless to stop them.

Until now.

A few days ago life brought me back to Gina, the Angel communicator I'd worked with before.  I decided to have an Angel reading done on myself.  One of the main themes of this reading was letting things go that no longer serve, emotionally speaking.  My angels and guides were letting me know that they are there, always, to help with this task.  My first thought when this was brought up was that I wasn't sure what it meant.... I AM happy, I have nothing I'm holding on to.  But the immediate thought after that was  Oh really?  Miss Grudge Queen?  Miss Never Forget?  Ah, yes.  There they are.  There are those little nuggets of the past.  After that it was as if a flood gate opened.  I started remembering things I had not thought of in years.  This also brought me back to when I had energy work done in the fall of last year.  It was the first time I'd ever done anything like it.  During the session Deirdre would say more than once, "you need to let that go... why are you holding on to that?  just let it go...".  I have to admit at the time I had no idea what she was talking about.  Now I do.

I believe that my issues are two-fold.  Not only am I holding on to these toxic emotional bombs,  but I am also very sensitive to others energy.  If I am around people who are negative, I feel emotionally drained, fatigued, and sometimes I will even start to feel the symptoms of a panic attack.  When this first started happening I had no idea what was going on.  When I started to understand, I never really looked into it, and as a result I never knew how to protect myself from it.  I always thought it was just something that was a part of me and that I had to live with.  Only recently have I started looking more in to the world of energy, and only just recently I started learning how to shield myself - by way of it popping up over and over again in various things I've been reading.

Throughout the Angel reading the phrase let it go, let it go, let it go kept reverberating in the back of my mind.  Since then it has almost been beating me over the head.  In random conversations with people, news reports, on the radio, even on Facebook and Pinterest.  I've been seeing and hearing LET IT GO everywhere.  

I do not believe in coincidence; I believe that everything happens for a reason.  When we start to notice things over and over, they are being brought to our attention for a purpose.  If we don't listen to them, the forces that be will take more drastic approaches, such as what has recently happened to me.  Even tonight, I started to write this entry, and then had second thoughts.  I flipped to Facebook - the page started scrolling through the Newsfeed and landed on this post:  "Pssst.... Hey you.  Yeah I mean you.  The angels have seen you struggling with something.  The angels say it's over..."  (I actually re-posted that one, since it so totally hit the spot for me).

And so, you win Universe, I hear you... I'm paying attention.  I will start to let it go.  I will start to shield myself from others energy and remember that life is about balance.  I only ask for your help, guidance, and Love.

♥


*** This is a very personal entry for me... I had debated on publishing it.  But in the end, I felt compelled to do so.  I hope that it helps another. ***

Recommended Veggie Dish: Quinoa & Black Beans Stuffed Peppers

I have this strange obsession with quinoa (keen-wah).  I'm not quite sure why it's developed the way that it has, considering I've only had it three times in my life.  But early last year when I was researching protein options for a low-carb lifestyle, I ran across this strangely named, ancient seed-grain-whatevertheheck.

Quinoa is packed with protein, and a complex carbohydrate.  It's so versatile - I've seen recipes for it's use in breakfast dishes (replacing oatmeal), pilafs, and salads.  It starts off this tiny little seed-like grain, and after cooking (boiling like rice), it sprouts this little curl that I have read is the germ.  You can also eat quinoa raw (replacement cornmeal in recipes) or you can encourage the sprout by just soaking in cold water for a few hours.  Quinoa.... healthy, protein packed, and cute!

Tonight was actually the first night that I cooked quinoa.  I've had a bag of it in the pantry for a little while, trying to gear up the nerve to cook it.  It's not hard at all, but you have to rinse it first and that's what was intimidating me.  It's so tiny that I knew it would be disastrous if I tried using any of my strainers - including the wire mesh ones I own.  Then I came across someone's suggestion of using an oil-splatter guard... GENIUS!!!

I have so many recipes involving quinoa.  This week I'm feeling Mexican-cuisine inspired, my absolute favorite before turning veg, and so I decided to pull up some Mexican flavored veggie dishes.  I chose to use this one from Emily and Micheal's "One Lovely Blog" (they are just the cutest, by the way), with this picture serving as the catalyst:

Photo from http://www.onelovelylife.com/?p=4854

I don't have a picture of them, but I also served a Southwestern-inspired side of Zucchini "fries" that turned out to be absolutely fantastic; I was very pleased!

For the stuffed peppers, I followed Emily's recipe of cooking the quinoa with a rough diced onion.  Once that was cooked I followed her method of throwing it in a bowl, with a can of drained and rinsed black beans, a can of diced tomatoes with green chilis (along with the liquid), and about a third of a can of a tomato & green chili sauce.  I forgot to add salt, and I never cook with black pepper because I don't like it.  I actually had cilantro, but forgot that as well (darn memory).  I poured the rest of the sauce into a baking dish, put in the pepper halves - I loved halving them instead of just cutting off the tops, by the way, great idea - then spooned in the quinoa mix and topped with a little freshly shredded Monterrey/Colby and Sharp Cheddar cheese.  I lightly covered the dish with aluminum foil, then put them in a 375 degree oven with the timer set for 30min.

Meanwhile, I started my Zucchini fries.  I cut a medium-sized zucchini into spears and put them into a medium sized bowl, then tossed in a little canola oil (enough to coat), some seasoned salt, chili pepper, and ground coriander.  Mixed that all together so it was coated and layered on to a baking sheet, covering with a little Monterrey/Colby cheese.  When the timer for the peppers hit 20min I popped the zucchini in.

The smells coming from my kitchen were amazing.  I had a really good feeling about this one.

When the timer beeped zero I checked the zucchini and deemed it needing just a few more minutes, took the foil off the peppers and then left everything in the oven for another 5min.  After letting everything cool off a little bit, I plated dishes for both my husband and I, and took the first intrepid bite...

DELICIOUS.

Quinoa has such an interesting texture - it's like grainy yet tender all at the same time.  The spice from the chilies in the sauce and the chilies themselves added just the right amount of heat.  The flavor was just spot on Mexican, so comforting for me.  The peppers were a definitely win.  But the zucchini fries.... they were a knocked-outta-da-park HOME RUN! 

Even better, the meal - which really was a culinary stretch for my husband - was a keeper in his eyes as well.  When the man asks if there's more zucchini and goes for seconds on the peppers, that's a meal well cooked.

**Note - this meal as stated in the recipe made A TON.  I've got about half of the quinoa mixture left over, so I threw it in a ziplock baggie and froze it.  Hoping that it holds well for next use.**

***Next time I'm going to try my hand at my own enchilada-style sauce, and since fresh is always better than canned, I'll chop up my own tomatoes and chilies.  Can't wait!***

Virtual Pinboard

Most of you have heard of Pinterest.... if you haven't, you've either been living under a rock (I will always think of the Geico commercial now when that phrase is uttered), or you have an actual life that doesn't consist of being online several hours a day.

I have a life, but much of mine is spent online.  Hence, this blog.

Being on line a lot translates to - I eventually came across the virtual pinboard, Pinterest.  I love Pinterest.

Since discovering the internet in high school, I have spent countless hours researching and connecting.  Pinterest brings both of these wonderful things together.  Before when researching, I would either write things down, bookmark them, or try to remember... which never works, because I have the worst memory ever (and it keeps getting worse as I age... and I'm only 30 at the moment, so that's a little scary!).  Now that I have Pinterest, I don't have to rely on memory to remember sites, or even to remember that I bookmarked them (or where I put the piece of paper that I wrote them down on, which also saves paper, and I'm all about Green!).  Now all I have to do is log on to my Pinterest account and look through my bookmarks.  I feel like the site was created for me (never mind that I'm about two years behind the unveiling).

One of the biggest things I pin is recipes, which makes sense, as I have been collecting recipes since I moved in with my Dad and started cooking for myself.  Which is in no offense to my Dad - he just didn't keep a house stocked with food, and as befitting a woman in her early 20's, while my Pop provided shelter, I took care of myself in all other aspects.  But I digress.....  Being able to pin a recipe to one place is so revolutionary for my being.  I try to live my life as paperless as possible, and if I don't have to print something out, and can reference the recipe on my phone - PERFECT!

With that being said, my Recipe Board on Pinterest has gotten very large.  I have pinned hundreds of different recipes.  As I look through it, I find myself thinking.... Will I ever make all of these??

At the time of this writing, I have exactly 365 recipes pinned.  My analytical mind immediately thought well, there are 365 days in a normal year.... maybe I should make an effort to make one recipe out of my board a day.  Then I started thinking  well back up a second, a lot of these recipes only I will eat, and some of the earlier ones are not vegetarian, so I won't eat them anyway.  Which led me to the latest thought, and the purpose of this blog.

Once I get to 400 recipes, which should take care of the ones I have that focus on meat, I am going to make one recipe - maybe two, depending - a week from my Pinterest board.  I'm going to write a blog entry for as many as I deem worthy (meaning, for as many as I make that I actually have the motivation to post on).  My husband is actually going to be home this weekend on both days (yay!), so tomorrow we're planning a trip to Whole Foods, where I can get some good, wholesome ingredients to start my Pinterest Recipe Board journey.

I raise an imaginary glass of wine (Girl's Night with my bestie was tonight, so the wine has already been drank) to my latest project!

A journey worth taking...

picture from http://moonlightrainbow.tumblr.com

"Life is all about the journey."  How often have we all heard that phrase?  How often do we truly examine it?

When you get right down to the bottom of it, the fact is none of us will ever truly know what happens when our lives extinguish on this Earth.  We have ideas and beliefs that have been formed by spiritual faith or scientific reasoning, but not one person on this Earth can tell you with absolute certainty that THIS is what happens when you die.  We exist in this moment, at this time, and that is a truth we can all agree on.  And so, taking out what eventually will happen to our spirit when our bodies have ceased, what are we left with?  We are left with the Here and Now.  We are left with the Journey.

When people are met with the phrase "it's all about the journey," it's most often after reflecting upon the meaning of life.  If you think back to the fact that we are existing now, at this very moment, the journey being the meaning of life is absolutely true.

How can we best enjoy it then?  How can we get the most out of it?  Explore, grow, and evolve.  Sometimes we can choose the way we do these things....  And other times, the Universe (God, Nature, forces, etc.) will choose what we need.

Our journeys are unique for us.  No two paths are exactly the same.  Some of us have partnered up with another, and while we may be experiencing the same events at the same time, what we learn from them and why we are going through them are completely different from one another.  The same is true for our children.  We may bring them into this world, but we are only the nurturer and the conduit for showing them the universal values they will build upon as they grow older and begin their journey in earnest. 

We also need to remember this when we start thinking that we wish our lives were more like this or that person's.  We cannot allow ourselves to think that way, because their journey is unique to them, and they are experiencing whatever they are for their own reasons.  It does not concern you, because you have your own journey with your own unique chances to explore, grow, and evolve, that are tailored specifically for you.

Sometimes our journey takes us places that we do not want to be, or has us experience things that are heart-wrenching and horrifying.  Some things to remember during those times are that they are happening to you for a reason, and it’s not necessarily as punishment.  Someone once told me that sometimes we experience things not for ourselves but for others, meaning that we go through certain things to help another in some way.  Also remember that every experience we live through truly does make us that much stronger, that much more knowledgeable, and that much more evolved.  For the times when we look back at the choices we made and wish we would have done things differently, know that what decision you ultimately made was the right decision.  It’s natural for us to reflect and question; our human nature makes us sentimental and quizzical.  But leave it at that…  You are HERE because you are meant to be. And if HERE isn’t somewhere you want to be, if NOW is a time that is truly testing your strength, your will, your faith, remember these things above…  You will come out stronger, you will come out evolved, and maybe you will be helping someone in ways you never imagined.

Take a moment to bring your awareness in to the moment, right now.  Take a few natural breaths in and out, listen to the sounds around you, smell the air, feel what you are resting on.  The fact that you are able to do that is not something to take for granted.  We may be faced in life with paths we don’t want to go down, or experiences that make us feel helpless, but remember that they all go away, and when they do, you’ll always feel empowered.  Life is an amazing gift, and our journeys are always worth taking, even when the roads are rough and overgrown.


♥

Recommended Veggie Dish: Baked Penne with Roasted Vegetables

Photo from http://www.joanne-eatswellwithothers.com

The first vegetarian dish that I made was one I adapted from a recipe off the "Eats Well With Others" blog found here.  It was absolutely delicious and now I make it at least twice a month.

I don't measure when it comes to recipes; I basically used her recipe that I linked to as a base, adding to and taking away to fit my tastes.

I cut up one green pepper, one red pepper, one zucchini, one onion, and one tomato, coated lightly with olive oil and tossed with herbs (I used a "Country Herb" grinder from Aldi's) a little salt and a sprinkle of garlic powder.  Then I sprayed a baking sheet lightly with PAM (I hate when things stick, so I take no chances!), spread out the veggies in a single layer, and roasted in a 450 degree oven for about 20-25min.

When the veggies have about 5-10min left I start heating up the sauce.  I tend to always use Newman's Own Organic Tomato & Basil, as it's my favorite ever.  Once the sauce is bubbling I will kick it down to a low simmer, adding a bit of freshly grated cheese (mozzarella, parmesan, asiago, whatever I happen to have on hand), and then when the veggies are done I'll throw those in to the sauce.  Make sure to sample a few pieces before putting all into the sauce.... Roasted veggies are super yum!

While the sauce is on a low simmer, melding all the flavors together, I will cook the pasta.  Serve with a nice red wine and maybe some homemade garlic bread and you're good to go!

My Road to Vegetarianism (a processed-food girl's journey)

The start of 2012 marked a significant change in my life.  I finally made the move to a primarily vegetarian lifestyle, after what had been years of gearing up to it.  Once I finally made the change, I found that it's not so hard, nor boring.

I, like many other Americans, was raised with a "meat and potatoes" diet concept.  A meal was not complete nor optimally nutritious without some form of animal meat product.  This conditioning was so fundamental that it continued even as I grew older and my philosophical outlook evolved to that of living compassionately and respectfully with regards to all life on Earth.  I still looked at nutrition through the veil of "common knowledge."  What also was not helping was my lack of experience in the plant-based world.  I knew the basics but never branched out beyond, and when I started to explore the option of a vegetarian lifestyle, I always shunned away believing that I didn't like vegetables enough, and how would I ever survive?

As the years went by I continued to evolve.  I questioned more and did my own research.  I was eventually led to the documentary Food, Inc., which opened my eyes to Factory Farming, a concept I had never even heard of, and surprising enough, where my food came from and how it was prepared was something I never really thought about.  In this area I followed the "ignorance is bliss" motto, and tried to not think about how the meat in my meals came to the plate. 

After watching Food Inc. I changed how I bought meat.  I will admit that although I tried very hard to buy meat from family, sustainable, and organic farms, I was not always consistent.  I still ate fast food once or twice a month because I was "in a hurry" or needed that hangover "cure-all": grease.  I would sometimes buy cheaper meat cuts with the qualifier that I was on a budget and needed to watch my spending habits.  When going out to eat I wouldn't even think to consider vegetarian options, because I was in the mindset that with the amount I was spending on a meal, I might as well "make it worth the money."  I had so many "conventional wisdom" beliefs going on in my mind and I never thought to bring them closer to examine for myself.

This all started changing for me last year.  I don't know what happened to spark it, but I began to shed those "conventional wisdom" beliefs and "common knowledge" ideas.  I began looking more towards myself for answers.  One of the areas that I started looking at was health, and how the saying that "you are what you eat" was ringing absolutely true.  I have struggled with my weight and energy level for years, and finally had come far enough in the "evolution of me" to look at my lifestyle and see where I could improve and outright remove damaging habits.  This thinking eventually led me to two additional documentaries: Food Matters and Forks Over Knives.  Both documentaries explore the benefits of a whole food, plant-based diet, eliminating processed foods and greatly reducing (if not removing completely) animal protein.  Without going in to much detail about what these documentaries are all about (I've linked the websites so you can explore on your own), after watching both of them I decided that enough was enough.  I had been seeing so much pointing in this direction already that it was time for me to make the lifestyle change I truly feel I've always been meant to do.

I will not lie - it is not always easy.  You have to be motivated to prep food, and since I was raised in a processed food world, this has been an obstacle for me.  It's so much easier to grab a box of Cheez-its or throw a frozen meal in the microwave than to bust out and start chopping all the ingredients to a big salad.  I still do eat some processed foods, but I have greatly reduced the amount and 80% of my nutrition now comes from whole grain, plant-based sources.  I have also found that by spending a couple hours on Sunday I can prep all my veggies for the week, making it easy to make my lunches and speeds up dinner.  And much to my delight my love of learning has translated into having a blast researching vegetarian recipes, cooking styles, and foods that I had never heard of or tried before.

Surprisingly,  after a few weeks of baby steps, meat was the easiest thing to eliminate.  I have reworked my mind enough that when I think of meat, I think of the animal it was and what it went through, and that is enough for me to be completely turned off.  I say I live a primarily vegetarian lifestyle because at the moment I still eat fish and seafood, but I do aim to remove that from my diet altogether.  I do not stress myself over it, however, because stress is so detrimental and I know that my changes so far have already had a huge impact not only on my spiritual being, but the environment as well.

It is a learning process, as with many things once you awaken your mind and start paying attention.  I still have problems with energy levels after I eat certain things, so I am learning to determine what causes those and try to adjust where needed.  My husband is also not a vegetarian - nor would I ever force him to be - so it is a challenge to find recipes that he will also enjoy with me.  I am very lucky that he is super supportive of my decision, and he welcomes the idea of eating healthier.  He is more than willing to eat the dinners I create - or at least try them - and so far everything I have made has been a success with him, so I'm happy about that!  Even though I am still learning and the change has not been easy, the benefits I've seen so far have confirmed my decision.  I feel lighter, healthier, and I've saved about 25% in my weekly trips to the grocery stores!

***This entry chronicles my journey into a significant lifestyle change.  I would never force my views or opinions on to anyone else, but I do encourage everyone to take a moment to look into these matters and do some of your own research, so that you can make an educated decision for yourself. ***

Personal Vibration

What is "personal vibration"?

Those in the spiritual community are already familiar with this term.  I admit I am very novice... what IS personal vibration?  I have heard it used so often, yet I do not know what it actually is.  But I have a guess, so tonight's topic will be to explore what this means.....

I believe that the term "personal vibration" is the same as your personal energy.  When you are happy, laughing, and smiling, how does your energy feel?  Amazing, right?  You feel like you could conquer any task.... Kids driving you nuts?  Pets zapping your patience?  Bills and financial burden mounding?  Mid-term at school making you feel like you could cry?  Neighbors loud, obnoxious music driving you to insanity?  When your energy is at the level that is when you are happiest, none of that matters.  You "know" by whatever means - through intuition, God, Buddha, a "feeling" - that you will overcome it.  That is when your "personal vibration" or your energy is at it's highest.

Maybe the example of being happy and laughing isn't quite working for you... how about after a great workout?  The endorphins are pumping, your blood is rushing, even the air around you smells amazing and electrified....  or how about, well, after a loving encounter with your spouse or partner?  You feel released and at peace.  These are the moments when your energy/vibration is at it's highest point.  These are the moments when nothing else matters, because you KNOW that you are an amazing being, who can overcome any odds.

This is how I envision what "personal vibration" means.  And since everything - e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g - is made of energy, including the Earth and all that it encompasses - but let's not limit ourselves, the UNIVERSE is made up of energy, and all IT encompasses - everything has a vibration level.  That being said, everything you encounter you interact with on an energetic level.  I imagine that most of this is unseen/un-felt on human terms, but those that are more sensitive (I'm thinking animal but humans are also capable) can and do perceive these fluctuations.

So, why does all this matter?  Who the heck cares about this "hippie" energy crap anyway?

Well, reflect back on the examples I proposed earlier, and how when your energy/vibration is at its highest, you feel the best.  Imagine living your whole life this way, in every waking moment?  How amazing would that be?  Now, we are only human, and no matter your philosophical or religious outlook, you know that we will have bad days.  But the thing to remember, I think, is that on those bad days and dark moments, we need to do all we can to raise our vibrational levels, in order to be at peace again, and to help us remember that these are only emotions.... the events that take place in our lives are catalysts, but ultimately we are responsible for how we react.  Think back upon those moments in life that make you happy, and you will raise your vibrational level, which in turn will help you overcome what you are facing.

And remember, if ever the obstacle seems to be too high or too hard, ask your guides, angels, God, Spaghetti Monster - whatever you label the beings who are part of us and separate from us - for help.  Pray, if you need (which also raises vibrations... another entry for another day).  But KNOW that you CAN overcome, it may take time, but you CAN overcome, and you are never, ever, alone.

♥

*** As I claimed, I am very new to all of this, and welcome advice, clarifications, and your own musings on the topic.... please feel free to comment! ***

Life's Purpose

Ever since I was very little, I was writing stories.  I remember when I was 7 or 8 my Mom bought me one of those bound, black and white marbled composition notebooks to write my stories in.  I still have it and love looking back at what my very young and imaginative mind came up with.  When I was a little older my Mom brought up her old, mechanical (not electric) typewriter from the basement, and for the next couple of years I could be heard clanging away on the old machine.  The first story I completed on the typewriter was one "Abominable Toilet Monster".  I have always been a horror aficionado!  I continued to write for years, moving off of the typewriter and onto computer, and occasionally writing by hand in well loved notebooks.  I wrote short stories, and started a journal, and then moved on to larger, novel length pieces - which pretty much were started and never completed.  I had always known that I was going to be a writer (actually aspired to be the next Stephen King), and planned to go to college for Creative Writing.

After high school that plan changed.  I started working and saw how much nicer it was to have money.  I started focusing on jobs and careers that would make me the most money.  Creative Writing as a major dropped by the wayside.  So did school, but that's another entry, for another time. 

I never stopped writing, however... I always did that.  Until a few years ago, when I decided to go back to school for technology.  Still working full time, and then going to night school, I entered one of the most emotionally draining times of my life.  It became even more so, when I saw what was a fantastic opportunity to get into the IT workforce.  Working 50+ hours a week in the office, and then going on-call for weeks at a time, with constant calls coming in, I once again chose money over quality, and left school to focus on work.  I became so overworked, so emotionally drained, that basically everything I loved to do fell by the wayside.  I stopped reading for fun, I stopped working out, I stopped developing my spiritual side, and I stopped writing.


At first I stopped because I didn't have any time, and I was in such a dark place emotionally that I allowed that negative thought to take over ('how can I have time to write, when I am constantly working!').  After a while the negativism continued, and my thinking morphed into 'who am I kidding?  I have been writing for years, and have yet to finish one novel.  I'm too scatterbrained to devote the time to finish one.  My writing is horrible and amateurish, who would ever want to read this crap.'  Eventually, even to this day - long after I finally found release from that emotionally draining time - those thoughts continued to dominate.  Not so much the time, but the fact that I am scatterbrained and I have yet to even finish the outline for a book (I tend to just write, I never plan - much like how I like to live my life).

Lately, however, those thoughts have been fading away, replaced with the pull to get back to business.  My unfinished stories have been calling to me, and new ones creeping up softly.  When I write I am almost in a meditative state; I honestly believe that many of my writings, if not all, have been channeled down through my higher self, with my guides happily helping.  Since I have came back to my spiritual journeying, this seems to be one of the biggest tugs that I've been feeling, and honestly, even this blog is one result of that tug.

Last night I had a pet-oriented reading with a gifted Angel Communicator, and during the reading she stopped and asked if I ever wrote.  I said I used to write for a long time but had since stopped.  She had pulled a card through which my guides were telling me that I need to get back to writing.  I said I know, thinking in the back of my mind how I am so scatterbrained and that I'm not good enough....  This morning while checking my Facebook feed for anything of note I came across a share that one of the pet pages I follow posted.  It was  promoting a book, "Angelo's Journey: A Border Collie's Quest for Home."  Instantly I felt two things after seeing it.  The first was that I wanted to read it.  The second was that I wanted to write.  I know for sure now that the time has come. 

I now understand that I will have all the help I need to stay focused and finish these stories.  All I have to do is ask.  Because when it comes to your life's purpose, your guides simply will not give up.

*** For those interested, Gina Sendef was the Angel Communicator I worked with last night.  Here is a link to her website:  http://www.ginasendef.com/  I highly recommend her ***

Welcoming

When I think of storms, I think of the whole cycle.  The ominous darkness in the distance, rolling ever closer.  The earthy ozone scent filling the air.  The soft, rumbling thunder growing louder and louder.  The squall coming through, signaling the start of the storm with fierce winds and rain.  The loud, thunderous roars and cracks as lightening literally splits the essence of the air, over and over.  The softening of the rain as it begins to move on.  The fading rolls of thunder becoming almost meditative.  Lightening brightening the sky but leaving no sound.  Darkness slowly lifting as the clouds roll away.  The sun shining triumphant in the sky, displaying a rainbow flag.

In many ways life can be equated to a storm.  It's full of ups and downs.  Some rough patches you see coming but feel powerless to stop, some spring up out of no where. But always they will pass, eventually, and that bright sun will shine again.  In some ways I even relate to a storm; I am passionate, occasionally moody and I wear my emotions on my face, but after all is said and done I remain loving, compassionate and happy.  I like to describe myself as a down-to-earth girl with my heart in the clouds, meaning that I understand reality enough to see beyond it.

I started this blog for two reasons... to serve as a creative and mental outlet, and to help others with whatever trouble they had that led them here in whatever way it does.  My blog will be a mix of reflections and musings on my daily life, a platform to share spiritual ideas and personal enlightenment, and maybe some day I'll post some of my writing.  Maybe....

And so, if you have found yourself here, I welcome you, and thank you for reading.  I hope that my future posts will find you when you need them, and that they bring support, comfort, knowledge, and/or encouragement when you need them most.  In blog I am, Stormily Yours.