Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Let it go.
Three words. Such a simple phrase. To the point, easy to understand the direct implication. Let it go.....
Yet in action, it can be rather difficult to do. Why? Why is it hard to let go of the things that no longer serve us, that torment us, that weigh us down in sadness? Why do we hold on to these things so fiercely, like badges of toxic praise?
I consider myself a generally happy person. Throughout the years I have learned to dismiss certain feelings, to accept certain truths, and to learn from mistakes. I am much more at peace now than I was two, three, five years ago. But yet, I still have moments of sadness. I still have days where all I want to do is stay curled up in bed with the blankets around me, not acknowledging anything except my dreams that take me away to far off places. My life is not perfect, by any means. But I am here. I am alive. I have a home to shelter me, a husband who loves me, family and friends I adore, and animals that are my soul's companions. I am healthy and whole. And yet still, these moments come, and I feel powerless to stop them.
A few days ago life brought me back to Gina, the Angel communicator I'd worked with before. I decided to have an Angel reading done on myself. One of the main themes of this reading was letting things go that no longer serve, emotionally speaking. My angels and guides were letting me know that they are there, always, to help with this task. My first thought when this was brought up was that I wasn't sure what it meant.... I AM happy, I have nothing I'm holding on to. But the immediate thought after that was Oh really? Miss Grudge Queen? Miss Never Forget? Ah, yes. There they are. There are those little nuggets of the past. After that it was as if a flood gate opened. I started remembering things I had not thought of in years. This also brought me back to when I had energy work done in the fall of last year. It was the first time I'd ever done anything like it. During the session Deirdre would say more than once, "you need to let that go... why are you holding on to that? just let it go...". I have to admit at the time I had no idea what she was talking about. Now I do.
I believe that my issues are two-fold. Not only am I holding on to these toxic emotional bombs, but I am also very sensitive to others energy. If I am around people who are negative, I feel emotionally drained, fatigued, and sometimes I will even start to feel the symptoms of a panic attack. When this first started happening I had no idea what was going on. When I started to understand, I never really looked into it, and as a result I never knew how to protect myself from it. I always thought it was just something that was a part of me and that I had to live with. Only recently have I started looking more in to the world of energy, and only just recently I started learning how to shield myself - by way of it popping up over and over again in various things I've been reading.
Throughout the Angel reading the phrase let it go, let it go, let it go kept reverberating in the back of my mind. Since then it has almost been beating me over the head. In random conversations with people, news reports, on the radio, even on Facebook and Pinterest. I've been seeing and hearing LET IT GO everywhere.
I do not believe in coincidence; I believe that everything happens for a reason. When we start to notice things over and over, they are being brought to our attention for a purpose. If we don't listen to them, the forces that be will take more drastic approaches, such as what has recently happened to me. Even tonight, I started to write this entry, and then had second thoughts. I flipped to Facebook - the page started scrolling through the Newsfeed and landed on this post: "Pssst.... Hey you. Yeah I mean you. The angels have seen you struggling with something. The angels say it's over..." (I actually re-posted that one, since it so totally hit the spot for me).
And so, you win Universe, I hear you... I'm paying attention. I will start to let it go. I will start to shield myself from others energy and remember that life is about balance. I only ask for your help, guidance, and Love.
*** This is a very personal entry for me... I had debated on publishing it. But in the end, I felt compelled to do so. I hope that it helps another. ***