We all have moments in life where everything seems to be just too much. You wake up late, then rush downstairs to find that something spooked the cat and she knocked a decorative container filled with decorative beads off the table and it shattered into a hundred pieces, then you get on the road and WHAM! Flat tire…. You finally get to work and the only spot left to park is the farthest one from the door and happens to be next to the biggest puddle in the entire lot, so now your pants are wet up through the ankles. Then you walk in and everyone seems to be affected by the negative tone that has been manifesting in your life with delay after delay, so now you are dealing with bad vibes from every direction…. It’s just too much.
What do you do in those situations? Do you give in to the negativity and continue to feed it by getting upset and wondering “why me”? Or, do you recognize that no one is out to get you and this is just a moment in your lifetime, and it will soon pass to be replaced with calmer and happier times?
The power of negativity can be so overwhelming, and its affects can be downright frightening. Stress, sickness, hatred, depression, anxiety… The more negativity is allowed to take hold and develop the more manifestations it will take. Many times the event affecting you that you categorize as negative is a manifestation of negativity from elsewhere. It is so important for you (and for those around you) to stave off feeding into it; hold it at bay or transmute the energy to good.
Learning to turn a negative into a positive is one of the harder things to master. I continue to look into the reason why it is so easy to latch on to negatives when really it is just as easy to hold on to positives. I will be the first to admit that there are times I allow negativity in to my space and let it fester there, but I have come such a long way from where I used to be. I can very easily recognize when I am doing this and actively resolve to stop it in its tracks, and depending on the situation turn it around so that it shines with the Light of the sun.
The way we approach things and deal with issues is unique to our personal beings, however, many of the ways that work for one will also work for another. It is best to try different things to see what works for you, and you will most likely end up tweaking it a bit so that it turns unique to you.
Here are a few ways I deal with negativity.
Whenever I feel it start to creep over me – anger, irritation, impatience, etc. – I start to breathe. I take deep breaths in, hold for a couple counts, and then slowly let it out. I continue this process for however long I need to.
- Sometimes I will add a yoga move to my breathing: Sun Salutation (only depending on where I am, I don’t follow the whole cycle, I will instead just follow the first 3 moves of breathing - exhale arms to the chest, inhale arms to the sky chest wide open, exhale dive forward to touch the ground).
When this starts to happen in the middle of a conversation with someone, I will recognize that it’s happening and just mentally check myself to stop. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. When it doesn’t, I will practice breathing once the conversation is over.
Laughter truly is the best medicine. It works like a charm for anyone who is sad, and it’s even been said that the more you laugh the longer you’ll live. I have no idea if that is true, but I completely agree with the sentiment! When unpleasant things happen to me, I will take that moment to laugh at the absurdity or the irony of it, rather than take the victim route of questioning why it happened.
If I am talking to someone who is just repeatedly putting themselves down or complaining about events, I will try cracking a joke. Sometimes this backfires… I can have a sarcastic wit that can get lost on people…. But for the most part I am very good at reading someone and know just what to say to get them to smile. Indeed, making people smile is one of my favorite things to do!
Recognize the lesson.
Sometimes when a negative happens it’s because we need to learn something from it. Maybe something from the past, maybe something for the future. The trick is to take you out of the equation and look at it from a passenger’s point of view. What happened? Why? Could it have been prevented? What has changed because of it? How could that be a good thing? Write it down in a journal (HUGE advocate of journals!) and if you don’t see the lesson yet, you will.
This is my ultimate favorite way to deal with negativity, but due to the environments I prefer to be in when I practice it, I can’t always use it as my “go to” technique.
When I say “be still,” what I mean is to be here, be aware, be present. Bringing your awareness to present is a fantastic way to ground yourself and to know that life is so much more than meets the eye. It helps remind us that we are spiritual beings, connected to a vast world that we’ve only scratched the tiniest of surfaces of knowing.
How to be still? There are a few ways I do this.
I drive to the nearest forest and go for a walk, setting the intention before stepping on to the path that I will see what I need to see to help bring focus. Then with that in mind I walk, and when something beautiful catches my eye I stop. Then I take a few deep breaths in and out, and look at what has caught my eye. See everything about it; take in all of the details. This focuses my mind to present. Once I’m truly here, then I will expand my awareness to all of my senses. What am I hearing? What do I smell? What do I taste in the air? What am I feeling at this moment? This invariably fills me with the deepest of calms. It nourishes my soul and allows me to feel grateful that I am alive to experience all these things this beautiful world has to offer.
Take a bath.
Some people underrate baths. Men will often write them off saying it’s a woman’s luxury or only necessary when deep muscle aches need soaking. But baths are purifying and detoxifying, and I believe everyone should soak in comforting waters at least once a month. To get the most out of baths, I suggest using lots of candles for lighting, use oils or scented bath foam for aromatherapy value (try lavender, vanilla, patchouli, or sandalwood), and take in a portable stereo to play soft, relaxing music (spa music for an at home spa night!). When you are in tub, follow the steps outlined above to center yourself and bring your awareness to all your senses. The only problem is sometimes I get so relaxed I fall asleep… once I woke up an hour later to cold bathwater… That was a shock!
Just be still where you are.
You certainly don’t need to be in nature or in a bath to practice being still… but those are just the easiest places for me to do it. Practice being still in different places to see where you get the best results. I’ve done this during a busy day at work and was surprised at the outcome. However, it wasn’t very long lived, as the phone then rang and I had to quickly switch focus back to the tasks at hand. But I was relaxed and ready to tackle the next project.
As stated before, there are several techniques you can use to combat negativity, and I hope that one of mine helps you! Remember you can always tweak things to better suite you. Some people like to exercise, some turn to a good book, others knit or craft. Yoga and meditation are awesome peace bringers. Experiment, find what works for you. Because the more happy and positive YOU are, the more happy and positive the world is. Life is better when you smile! :-)
Stormily yours, with Love and Light!